January 1, 2023

 Sometimes I lie (lay?) awake at night and wonder how I got here.  

I had babies a minute ago.    Aren't I still a college student?   I can't stay because I have to be home by midnight or my parents will ground me.    C'mon, you're missing Dukes of Hazzard!

Life.  It's some crazy shit.   Just when you feel comfortable something else comes along.   I want to be nine again.  

I had a Mommyblog back in the day and now I also lay (lie?) awake at night and wonder what happened with many of those ladies who held my virtual hand for so many years.  What happened to us?  We were a team!  Every new year I get the urge to bring it back but work, sports, pets, kids, traffic......by the time I find something interesting to write I've fallen into bed and slept it away.   Turns out infant tired in no way matches the teenager tired.   At least you can fall asleep breastfeeding.   Would be bad if I did that shuttling kids around.  

I still have the Mommyblog in the sense that it's in the cloud and on the web and whatever.  My kids have opinions now and it doesn't seem right to divulge what is happening with them; it's there story to tell now. Each of them has been through some crap and I might work through that here but I think I want Mommy blog to stay just what it was....a space to muddle through the days with little children.  I hope it never goes away.   I hope its there for eternity for other sleepy girls to see motherhood isn't as rosy as it looks on commercials.  Also, I don't want to pay for the ink and paper to print that out.   

So we 2000 mamas are leaving those years behind and heading into empty nests and retirement savings.  I don't know about the rest of ya'll, but I don't really know how to do this adult-parenting gig.  I might have embarrassed my son (and everyone else at the table) when I told my 21 year old to sit up and chew with his mouth closed in front of his girlfriend.  Which, WHAT?  How do I handle that?  I am not prepared.  

So, moving my life over a block or two.....Hope I can keep up with it.